the 40's and 50's

In those years of war and post-war times, people got on with life with upside down smiles. Favour was shown to those who grew up fast and accomplished much. There was little praise for a job well done. It was expected. And so it was with Elisabeth. At 16 she was self-sufficient, in many ways wise to the world. Her accomplishments were reflected in the eyes of her aunts and uncles and without words it was clear she had met their expectations. Pretty, intelligent, cultured, mature, practical and successful socially, by only modelling the behaviour of her heroes,  she met the standards set for her.

The Mailloux and Quenneville hierarchy had standards of their own. They had different rules for judging accomplishments. Higher education and beautiful vocal skills weren't high on their priorities. Elisabeth searched for goal posts in these murky waters. Unfortunately, I think, practicality was the only attribute which came to the fore. She strived to maintain her other skills, and to a great degree she did, but it was against an avalanche of domestic chores; children to dress and feed, a house to maintain, and soon 5 more children to diaper.

Charles took pleasure in her beauty, but did little to see that her other talents were nurtured.

Elisabeth loved clothes and shoes. I remember two or three outfits in particular. One was a yellow sleeveless dress with a little bolero jacket. She had a hat to match. She had another dress, green or blue in the same style. She loved shoes. In the 50's spikier heels came into vogue. She would walk to Balfour and Tecumseh, take the bus and go downtown to shop. I remember her walking towards home with her purchases. I was eager to see what she had bought. I remember the first high heels with the pointy toes. She also had a pearl grey winter coat which came down to her mid-calf. It was loosely flared and had  raglan sleeves. The colour and the style suited her perfectly.

Later on she took me shopping in Detroit.

She had a flare for fashion and believe this was something we had in common.

Awarenesses

Elisabeth was born posthumously to her father's death. While her mother was now obliged to earn a living, she lived with her grandparents and a slew of aunts and uncles. Because her mother was one of the older sibling, some of her aunts and uncles were not too far off from her in age. Her mother remarried. But the new father was was not reliable. From what I understand there was no love lost there. I believe he became estranged from his family. Essentially Elisabeth grew up fatherless but within her mother's family. I cannot overemphasize  the importance of extended family with regards the overall dynamic of this family and indeed in all of our French Canadian families.

It was a large French Canadian Catholic family. There was much laughter and love in this family but there were also the heart aches of the times. They would have been affected by the 2 world wars. As they were our step-family (the older 6) we did not know them as well as our dad's and our birth mother's family. We called these aunts and uncles and indeed all our aunts and uncles "matante + name or mononcle+ name". We identified  the grandparents by their last name "so mémé Gagnon or pépé Gagnon, Mailloux, Quenneville"

As a young child I recall the respect and admiration Elisabeth showed to her aunts and uncles. We learned their names, Georges, Georgina, Adele, Phil, Adelard, Ambroise, Helene and Norm, Alma, Lena. Despite our numbers and ages, they more or less took us in, accepting Liz's decision and new life. They also respected and admired her. We visited them, and occasionally they visited us. I remember that Georges and his lovely wife Therese came by one day. He gave Elisabeth a beautiful hand painted cushion cover. It was black silk with white flowers (magnolias). They were all so different from the Mailloux, Quenneville clans even though we were all of French Canadian Catholic extract, they seemed more pious, more French. Looking back, I feel Elisabeth missed their very civilized way of life. In the Gagnon family (her grandparents) education was highly valued, the arts and music were appreciated. There were teachers, priests, nuns, lawyers and the like. Not so in the same generation of the other two families.

Elisabeth herself, was on the road to becoming a teacher when her mother passed away in 1949 and she was obliged to return to Essex county from Ottawa for lack of funds to continue her education.

She had two sisters, Rosemarie and Cecile and a brother Eugene. She was very close to them as well. She was the youngest sibling, but the first to marry and her children were the oldest of the next generation. They often visited and we also visited them. We were seen as uncivilized ragamuffins. But they made do. Tables for 18-24 people were set for meals. In the Gagnon clan discipline was paramount. In the Quenneville clan, fun and warmth were of more importance. The Gagnon's found us undisciplined, unruly. I found them fascinating and a bit scary.

Aunt Adele and uncle Alphonse Levesque were Elisabeth's godparents. They lived not that far away. They had one adopted son a little younger than Liz, maybe by 7 years. He was a spoiled, lonely, unhappy but beautiful child. Adele was instrumental in the upbringing of Liz and her siblings as she was closest to their mother in age. So Paul was like a brother to Liz.  They had a beautiful and quite modern home. On one visit when I was about 5, so, very early on in the new marriage, while we were visiting and Liz was trying to control her adopted brood, and prevent them from wrecking this beautiful home, I climbed upon her lap and promptly peed on her lovely dress. I remember this as a deliberate decision on my part. I really can't say why i would do such a thing, except for it all being a little overwhelming.